Squats: the King of lifts…I don’t want to weigh 400! Chew Bar™: More than diet food…Rampage on a Rampage

IRON VIC SPEAKS by IRON VIC STEELE

Vic,

I got into an argument with a Pilates instructor over barbell squats – she said that it was “widely known” that full squats are dangerous for the knees. This is, of course, utter bullshit. It is frustrating to not have the exact science at your fingertips to refute these Yahoos when they throw this garbage in your face. This was in front of a group in an informal situation. You could see all their heads bobbing in agreement – people want to believe that hardcore exercises like the squat, or the power clean or deadlift or a half-dozen other compound free weight exercises – are dangerous because if they’re dangerous then you cannot be reasonably expected to do them. Plus these sissy personal trainers keep telling the gullible that a comfortable resistance machine can give you just as good a leg workout as those awkward, dangerous barbell squats. It is maddening to have skinny losers with zero athletic credentials run down the squat. Makes me want to “go postal” and start bashing people with a 45-pound plate – but that would be wrong! Race, Del Rio

Damn Race, I could not have said it better myself. You make a great point: people desperately want to believe that in resistance training, things easy are equal (or better) to things hard. That is patently absurd. It is called resistance training for a reason. Resistance implies struggle. Struggle is what causes growth. Make things too easy and guess what – no muscle growth! When it comes to resistance training, things harder invariably create superior muscle results to things easier. Comfortable exercises don’t attack muscles, comfortable exercises soothe muscles; when it comes to triggering muscle growth attacking trumps soothing every single time. Lying on your back and pushing with (relative) ease, using a ball-bearing-smooth leg press machine of some type or design – cannot possibly match the muscle-building results of regular squats. The classical power training squat strategy requires the trainee perform five rep sets in the full squat working up to say double body weight. Any objective muscle-building comparison between leg machines and a properly performed set of barbell squats is ludicrous. It betrays a philosophic and scientific imbecility on the part of the machine defender.

Squats, properly performed, are the past, present and future King of all resistance training exercises. Period. Studies have repeatedly shown that full range-of-motion squats, using 80% or more of a maximum single weight, for 5 to 8 reps, stimulates more muscle tissue than any other single resistance exercise. Deadlifts and power cleans follow up in second place. There are an infinite variety of free weight squat variations, enough to keep a diligent man busy for a lifetime. Here are the three major squat variations. You should learn each of them and periodically rotate each one into your training regimen.

The barbell back squat: The Mack Daddy of progressive resistance exercises: accept no substitutes. For best size and power results, become proficient at five rep sets. After a few warm-up sets, perform multiple sets with static poundage: use 80% to 90% of your single-rep squat max. If you want big powerful legs get a big powerful squat. Guys who squat 500 (raw) have bigger more powerful legs than men that squat 300. That’s a fact. Average sized guys seeking to become bigger and better than average should shoot to squat 400 to 500 pounds.

The barbell front squat: A fabulous, underused, neglected thigh exercise: The barbell is placed on the shoulder in front of the neck, as if the lifter had ‘cleaned and racked’ the barbell and was preparing to press it overhead. Instead of pushing the barbell overhead, the trainee squats down. Incorporate all the good habits learned in back squatting. Use higher reps and lighter poundage than used in back squatting. If you back squat 315 for reps, use 225 in the front squat for reps. The thigh burn obtained from a properly performed set of deep front squats is off the charts. The placement of the barbell allows for incredible thigh isolation. Learn them and do them!

The Parrillo Belt Squat: Belt squatting is the biggest secret in squatting. The problem is accessibility to the right equipment. Few have had the sadistic pleasure of performing a belt squat workout on a Parrillo Genetic Equalizer belt squat platform. This device allows the trainee to perform flawless belt squats. The sliding vertical handle sets this device head and shoulders over any competitor. The pinnacle of belt squatting is the dreaded Parrillo 100-rep set. After the 30^th rep, positive failure sets in: John and his crew of handpicked henchmen move in and assist the trainee in competing 100 reps. Utter and complete leg and body decimation. Let’s get to back, front and belt squatting out there!

Iron Vic,

What is your take on the idea that the Parrillo Chew Bar™ is “strictly” diet food? I love these bars but the power guys at the gym rag on me, “So what’s with the Chew Bar™? Are you getting ready for a bodybuilding show?” I love eating them for SIZE – which is what I pretty much do all the time. I hold around 12% bodyfat and can deadlift 700. I compete once a year in a powerlifting competition at the end of my mass-building phase. I compete once a year in a bodybuilding competition at the end of my lean-out phase. I walk around at 230 carrying 6% bodyfat and I feel great. I think Parrillo ought to make Chew Bars™ available at local grocery stores. I am always running out.

The Ripper, San Juan

Ripper you are dead on: the Chew Bar^™ has been branded as a ‘diet supplement’ and that is patently unfair. One glance at the nutritional statistics tells a different tale…

Protein 20 grams

Carbohydrates 19 grams

Fat (CapTri^®) 2 grams

Sugars 2 grams

This product should be finding its way into the gym bags of elite strongmen nationwide. The reason the Chew Bar^™ has been shuffled into the diet camp is that it takes effort to eat a Chew Bar^™. As anyone who’s ever eaten one can attest to, the texture of the delicious bar (regardless the flavor) requires slow eating and makes gulping the bar down a virtual impossibility. This slow-eat characteristic could be used by a hardcore trainer, bodybuilder or strength athlete, during a long and intense weight workout. By slowly eating a Chew Bar^™ while working out, you are able to attain and maintain energy during an extended workout of extreme intensity. What better way to prevent bonking halfway through a leg day than by chewing on a Chew Bar^™? The slow rate of assimilation and nutrient composition make the Chew Bar^™ an ideal candidate for consumption during a tough training session.

Vic,

You sure are tough on communists lately – what’s the matter? Did your supply of Cuban cigars (smuggled in by your mercenary buddies) dry up? Mad at Hugo Chavez because it now takes $125 to fill up your monster truck – and speaking of monster trucks – did you read about Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and his traffic “incident” and arrest? I know you’re a big Rampage fan. His win over Silva (definitely past former glory) has him in a title fight with new champ, Rashid Evans. Who are you picking?

Butch, Miami

For those unfamiliar with the situation, the recently deposed UFC champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson was arrested a few months back and turned over to the psychiatric ward for observation. Alarmed citizens called 911 to report that a Monster Truck was blasting down residential streets, ramming into parked cars, careening from one hapless car to another. When the police dispatcher asked the panic-stricken civilian callers if they got a license plate number or if they could identify the vehicle – each was able to respond, “Why yes, the Monster Truck has the driver’s face painted on it.” Rampage was on a rampage and wreaking havoc. Unfortunately his getaway truck had lots of identifying features, not the least of which was a huge likeness of Quinton Jackson’s face painted on the side. Underneath his picture it was signed, “Rampage.” Not coincidentally callers were also able to say that unmistakably Quinton Rampage Jackson was driving the runaway Monster Truck. When police caught up to him, Rampage was delirious. It was later determined through blood tests that Rampage was neither high nor intoxicated, rather he was experiencing delirium tremors as a result of drinking caffeine-loaded energy drinks (and nothing else) for four straight days. The drinks dehydrated the ex-champ and the sugar and caffeine poisoned him.

Rampage had a lot to be distraught about: he had been heavily favored and then lost his title to Forest Griffin. The red-headed underdog fighter handled Rampage adroitly. After the fight was over, it was rumored that one of his trainers had embezzled a large pile of cash. Rampage flew off the rails with the Monster Truck fiasco. Miraculously, the Nevada State athletic commission cleared the fighter of misconduct charges stemming from the incident. He was allowed to fight his old Pride nemesis Silva. Miraculously he beat Silva. Now this troubled man is set to fight the new champ Rashid Evans. This should be interesting because on paper both men are nearly identical: top wrestlers that learned the striking game late. Each found that they had a profound knack for knocking other fighters unconscious. My heart is for Rampage but my head says bet the farm on Evans.

Vic,

I need your help: all of a sudden I am 39 years old and weigh 360 pounds! I played college football weighing 275. Four kids later, a decade and a career later, and I am pushing 400 pounds in bodyweight! I am 6-6 and still play serious playground basketball at a high level. If you give me a program to peel off some weight, I will make this thing happen. Set the table Old Man, and I’ll do whatever you lay out!

Big Daddy, Oakland

I feel you Big Daddy…when a man hits his mid-thirties his body undergoes a metabolic slowdown and all of a sudden the 4,000 calories a day that used to maintain homeostasis is now 1,000 in excess. You don’t eat an extra bite yet all of a sudden you start packing on the pounds. Year after year you keep getting fatter and all of a sudden a decade has flown by. You used to be the BMOC football star and now you look like one of those obese bodyguards that surround Britney Spears or Mariah Carey. First order of business: clean up the food selections! You are eating yourself to death, literally. Get the Parrillo Nutrition Manual and as the famous TV commercial says, “Just do it!” Start preparing bodybuilder-approved foods in mass quantities over the weekends. During the week pack these nutritious foods into Tupperware containers and take them to work. Eat three food meals per day. Have 2-3 supplement & snack meals per day. Assemble a nice assortment of Parrillo supplements ahead of time: take the money previously spent on beer, ice cream, chips, soda, candy, pie and pastry and redirect all that saved income towards purchasing ultra-beneficial Parrillo supplements. Start with the basics Big Daddy…a canister of Parrillo Hi-Protein Powder^™, a canister of 50/50 Plus^™, a few boxes of Parrillo Energy bars^™, Bio-C^™, Natural E Plus^™, Mineral-Electrolyte Formula^™ and Essential Vitamin Formula^™…eat food meals at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Eat a supplement snack mid-morning and mid-afternoon. Don’t forget to smart bomb after weight training. See the workout chart below for weekly lifting and cardio guides.

During the week wake up and hit a 30 minute cardio session before breakfast. A man weighing 360 pounds can generate a hell of a heart rate, simply by walking as fast as possible. Power walk, or use one of the cardio machines at the gym. I have assumed you’ll be able to play a couple hours of ball each weekend. You must get control of your eating. No doubt we can turn you into a great weight lifter. No doubt with your intense playground cardio training you can build incredible endurance. But guess what? You can become big and strong, you can build great endurance and you can still remain fat! The NFL is loaded with big, strong, fat guys who have great endurance. Get the Parrillo Nutrition Manual. Learn it. Live it.