Episode 41: Take pride in what you’ve built

Ron Harris and Jay Cutler

By Ron Harris

The Internet haters were at it again. Actually, they seemed worse than ever and I chalked it up to the summer heat wave much of the USA was experiencing. When it’s 98 degrees and oppressively humid, they were all probably going through a gallon of Haterade a day. This provided them with all the carbs, electrolytes, and bitter, spiteful negativity a hard-working hater posting anonymously online craves.

For the uninitiated, most online bodybuilding forums are infested to one extent or another with haters or ‘trolls,’ guys who never have anything nice to say and constantly insult, mock, belittle, and disparage everyone from raw novice bodybuilders to Mr. Olympia and Arnold Classic winners. They do so while hiding behind keyboards, never posting any photos of themselves yet going by names like “HugeMonsterFreak69,” or “24inchArmscold.” On the rare occasions that one of these idiots is exposed with a photo, usually by a fellow hater (not a lot of camaraderie among this group), they typically fit one of two types. Either they are skinny, acne-riddled teenagers who have never kissed a girl, or they are fat, hairy slobs in their 20’s or early 30’s living in mom’s basement who have never kissed a girl (no, sisters don’t count).

I happen to be a friend of IFBB Pro Jose Raymond, who is currently one of the most massively built men in the relatively new 202 division. At 5-3, the guy is built like a tank with thickness even most pro’s can only dream of. I go up to his gym to train a couple times a month, and always take plenty of photos to share with his fans. After posting up photos of a shoulder workout, the haters ignored the 30 great shots of Jose and chose to focus on the fact that I had the nerve to stand next to him for a photo. Here are some of the brilliant comments from the peanut gallery, exactly as they appeared:

“Wow, Jose is beasty beast, with all due respect Ron I assume you are about 10-15 lbs heavier then Jose ,but he makes you look like fitness model.”

“Haha what a freak he makes that guy with 14inch arms look like a kid.”

(Note: my arms do suck, but they are in fact 17 1/2 inches)

“The problem with Ron is that he doesn’t make things easy on himself by posing next to IFBB pros in a skin tight string tank top and little fitness girl booty shorts, Ron does have a good build but he should cover up around the pros.”

(Note: I do not even own any fitness girl booty shorts, but I definitely do appreciate seeing them on girls who have put their time in on squats and lunges)

“You should be overwhelmed by the pros because you look skinny next to them, oh well man knock yourself out, do what you want to do, we’ll all get a big laugh out of you posting these pics.”

Needless to say, even though I know better by now than to get riled up by these jokers, I still felt my blood beginning to boil. Various people jumped to my defense, among them my old buddy Randy, who had relocated to Florida a while back and was doing well as a personal trainer to older retired women, and 17-year-old Jared, my sole client and budding bodybuilder. I happened to run into him at the local grocery store while waiting to return my rented DVD to the Redbox machine. These automated vending machines had pretty much made video stores obsolete, along with Netflix. Proof of this lay in the fact that our town’s Blockbuster franchise and two Movie Gallery stores had disappeared. A woman and her three bratty little kids were pushing buttons on the screen, browsing through all the titles and arguing about which one to rent. This was going to take a while.

“So Ron,” Jared inquired. “Seriously, those pro’s are so huge. I know you’re not a small guy, but don’t you feel small next to them?”

“Honestly, I don’t. I realize how much more muscle they carry than I do. I’ve taken photos with three-time Mr. Olympia Jay Cutler, who is barely any taller than me but weighs a good seventy pounds more. And obviously my buddy Jose is much bigger than me. But honestly, I don’t feel embarrassed to stand next to them at all.”

“Why not?”

“Why should I? I’ve worked just as long and hard as they have to look the way I do. In some cases, I’ve actually been training a lot longer than some of the pro’s and top amateurs. They happen to have better genetics and often have more time to train than I do, so their results are much more impressive. Let me ask you something, do you feel ashamed standing next to me? I mean, I’m so much bigger than you are – for now, at least.” He shrugged.

“No, at first maybe, but not anymore. Not once I got to know you.”

“Right, and I never want anyone to feel bad about themselves. You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished so far, and excited about the improvements you still have ahead of you. It doesn’t matter whether someone else is a lot bigger or stronger than you. All that matters is that you are getting better as the months and years go by. If it takes you ten years to build a 17-inch arm, you don’t need to feel bad because some other guy has  20-inch arms. Your physique is the result of a ton of effort, dedication, discipline, persistence, and sacrifice. Nobody can take that away from you and you should never let

anyone make you feel like you’re inferior because you don’t look like a pro. Do you know how many guys who start training ever look like a pro?”

“I dunno, one in a hundred, five hundred?”

“Try more like one in a few thousand,” I deadpanned, and his jaw dropped. “Few will put the time and effort in to have a physique that exceptional, and of that group only a very small percentage has the genetic gifts to actually have that type of development. It’s almost like taking the whole group of kids who play little league baseball and narrowing it down to how many of them will actually ever play in the major leagues. It’s a very small percentage, which is why millions of people tune in to watch the playoffs and World Series. The players and teams that make it to that level are truly exceptional in many ways. Pro bodybuilders are amazing specimens in many ways, too. Therefore there is absolutely no reason to compare yourself with them and feel like a failure. And if others try to do that for you, screw ‘em. They are clearly miserable with their own bodies and lives and doing whatever they can to try to make you miserable too. Why?”

Jared looked at me blankly, then figured out the response I was looking for. “Because misery loves company?”

“Exactly!”

After many minutes of deliberation, it turned out the mother of the brat troop didn’t even have a credit card with which to rent a movie. Jared kindly let me cut him in line as I only needed approximately ten seconds to return my selection. Meanwhile, every once in a while I caught a fellow shopper or a checkout girl glancing over at me in my tank top. My knee-jerk reaction to any type of attention for my physique is usually “Imagine if they ever saw a real pro like Cutler, they would probably have a heart attack!” But I don’t think that way anymore. I’ve been training longer than Jay has, and I am proud to have built a solid 225 pounds from what was once a 90-pound frame. I’m not as large as a pro bodybuilder and never will be. But you know what? I worked my ass off to look the way I do, and for that reason I will never feel skinny or pathetic. If the haters want to wallow in their cesspool of negativity spawned by their own self-loathing, that’s their problem. The rest of us will just keep working hard, make improvements, and hold our heads high knowing that we are all walking success stories.